You're nobody 'til somebody shoots you....

I’ve always believed that Matthew McConaughey is a total loser. I think his accent is ridiculous, I think his sleaziness is too severe for the silver screen, I think his abs are a smart ploy to keep the women of the world from realising he’s just plain gross and I used to think that he had absolutely no acting skills to speak of. I was very deeply invested in the idea that he was just one of those actors who is ‘attractive’ and ‘charming’ enough to keep getting roles despite their lack of talent. Like Keanu Reeves or Shea LaBeouf. And the reason I put those words in quotation marks is because I personally do not find him attractive or charming, but will concede that other people in this world do. I accept it. It’s the same way I feel about crocs, polar fleece and rat’s tails, I hate all of them but understand some people feel differently. And hey, it’s just like they say ‘it takes all kinds to make a world’. But it may seem that on the matter of Matthew McConaughey’s acting abilities, I have been too clouded by my disgust for him to realise he’s actually kind of a winner. I’m not completely committing to him but I will say this, in The Lincoln Lawyer, he is totally compelling. Maybe its because his character is supposed to be a bit dodgy and manipulative but whatever the reason I could not stop watching this film. Even after my loins shriveled up at the sight of him, and then completely combusted in on themselves upon subjection to that filthy southern drawl, EVEN AFTER THAT I just couldn’t turn the film off.

I’m a fan of the thriller genre, I like not knowing what’s going to happen and spending the whole film trying to solve the mystery myself. I generally fail at this game, I get too overzealous and start accusing every single person who enters the story of being the killer or ‘perp’ in industry terms, and that gets old real fast, lemme tell ya. But still it’s fun to be wrong because it means there’s a lot of “No WAAAAAYY!” and “Oh my god, what just HAPPENED?” going on between me and the tv. I like a genre that’s interactive; I lead a very solitary life so it’s the closest I get to a dinner date these days. But don’t feel sorry for me, I drink and talk to myself, so it’s not an altogether lonely existence. I’ve had some really choice debates with myself over the years, real mind-blowing stuff. Okay, mostly it’s about whether or not I should take my pants off, but both sides put forth some good arguments. But let’s get back to The Lincoln Lawyer. The film is an adaptation of the book which was written by Michael Connelly back in 2005. It’s usually a pretty safe bet that if the film was first a book, then the story at least will be interesting. They’d have to sell a certain amount of copies to warrant it being converted for the silver screen, and as long as the screenwriter and director don’t completely balls it up, the film should be good. Clear exceptions to that rule include One for the Money, One Day and…. (I’m going to be unpopular here, I know) …. all of The Lord of the Rings movies. Come at me with your torches and broken beer bottles people, I stand by my claim.

 Luckily, The Lincoln Lawyer is an intriguing film and the casting, I believe, was spot on. Mathew McConaughey was indeed the perfect guy for the corrupt and highly street-smart lawyer Mickey Haller. Ryan Phillippe was an interesting choice for the part of Louis Roulet, but it worked really well! Actually, if I really think about it; maybe Phillippe was an obvious choice for this role. He does innocent well, he’s totally sinister when he wants to be and he’s definitely the type of guy you’d assume would manipulate people with his charisma, flawless good looks and intellect. In a nutshell that’s who this Louis Roulet character is, albeit a lot more psychotic. Okay, Phillippe was always going to be a slam dunk, good casting there guys! Marisa Tomei is a pretty likeable character. She’s just adorable, isn’t she?! The kinda gal you’d love to brunch with. So she’s great in the role of Haller’s ex-wife Maggie McPherson, as per usual. However, she’s not stand out. She does the job well and you like her just as you are intended to, but you kind of forget about her a few days after watching the film. William H. Macy (aka the guy I wish was my cool uncle or mentor-turned-friend in real life) was just peaches in this as Haller’s trusty investigator Frank Levin. I love him! Always have, always will, and he is such an integral part of the film’s success. He adds a bit of humour to an otherwise fairly serious subject. I love his slightly-intoxicated passive aggressive remarks as Haller leaves the bar one night, it’s just delightful to watch. And I’m going to go out on a limb here and say he is one of the few men who can unequivocally pull off shoulder length hair. This is a rare gift; most men just look sleazy with long hair. My man Macy rocks that look hard. I think the facial hair and lax attitude helps though.

I’m not watching as many films these days as I’d like to, I just got over a long stint of reviewing for the fringe in my home city and am, honestly, a little burned out. But The Lincoln Lawyer (named so because he often conducts business from his Lincoln town car, just FYI) was on telly the other night while I was curled up on the couch. The remote was on the kitchen counter and though I wanted to immediately switch over once I saw McConaughey, my laziness kept me from moving for a few minutes. Luckily I didn’t because in that time I was totally hooked. Not the first time my lack of vigor has produced positive results, either. One time I couldn’t be bothered telling a guy who was interested in me (shocking, I know) that I wasn’t on board and instead just allowed things to progress at a slow pace. That guy I ended up dating for roughly four months. Do you even know how much free food I got in that time? A LOT. And he was alright for the most part, kind learned to like him. Not dissimilar to how I began to like cask wine, you eventually realise you’re not too good to go there. 

A very intriguing story with a lot of great performances, I would recommend The Lincoln Lawyer to anyone, even those who (like me) think McConaughey is a douche. He is, but he can also act. I guess wonders never cease.